How To Talk To Your Child Who  Doesn't Want To Get Mental Health Help

Shanna Belott

Watching your child struggle with psychosis or schizophrenia can be overwhelming and heartbreaking, especially when they refuse to seek help. As a parent, you may feel stuck, wanting to support them but not knowing how to encourage treatment without creating more resistance.

Some children recognize that something is wrong but are too afraid to even leave their room or engage with others.

Others believe nothing is wrong at all and think their family is overreacting.

Both situations are difficult, but there are ways to approach the conversation that can help.

Understanding psychosis and schizophrenia: What parents need to know

Psychosis and schizophrenia are complex mental health conditions that can significantly impact an individual's thoughts, feelings, and behaviors. Psychosis often involves episodes of hallucinations or delusions, while schizophrenia is a long-term condition that can affect a person's ability to think clearly, manage emotions, make decisions, and relate to others.

It's crucial for parents to educate themselves about these conditions to provide appropriate support. Understanding the symptoms, possible causes, and treatment options can help you better navigate the challenges associated with these mental health issues.

Recognizing the signs: when your child may need help

Early intervention can make a significant difference in managing psychosis or schizophrenia. Recognizing the signs is the first step towards helping your child. Some common indicators are actually "negative symptoms," which are neither hallucinations nor delusions. These negative symptoms are too often dismissed as just a phase or misdiagnosised as the product of anxiety, attributable to autism, or the result of trauma.

Don't dismiss the Early Negative Symptoms - it is not just a phase

Th e early negative symptoms of schizophrenia (also call ed prodromal symptoms) involve a decline in normal functioning and emotional engagement. These symptoms can appear months or even years before more obvious psychotic symptoms (like hallucinations or delusions). Common negative early symptoms are summed up in the five "A" words for negative symptoms of schizophrenia. The five "A" words that describe key areas of dysfunction often appear before a first break when halluciniations and/or delusions interrupt life. Recognizing these early signs and g etting an assessment and treatment right away determines your child's recovery potential.

Social and Emotional Symptoms

The five "A" words for negative symptoms are the following emotional and social symptoms:

1. Alogia – Reduced speech or minimal verbal responses. The person may speak very little or give short, vague answers.
2. Avolition – Lack of motivation to start or complete tasks, even basic self-care like hygiene.
3. Anhedonia – Loss of interest or pleasure in activities once enjoyed.
4. Affective Flattening – Reduced emotional expression , including facial expressions, gestures, and vocal tone.
5. Asociality – Social withdrawal and decreased interest in relationships or social interactions.

Cognitive and Behavioral Symptoms

Parents, teachers and even pediatrians often see, but dismiss as just a phase, additional decline in cognitive function and age-appropriate behavior, commonly seen as:

• Difficulty concentrating – Trouble focusing, remembering things, or following conversations.
• Restricted memory – Inability to remember details accurately and word finding, even if trying.
• Neglect of personal hygiene – Decline in grooming, bathing, or dressing appropriately.
• Lower energy levels – Appearing lethargic, spending excessive time in bed.
• Extreme mood swings - Experience dramatic fluctuations in emotions without any apparent reason.

These negative symptoms are often dismissed as just a phase, or mistaken for social anxiety, depression, results of trauma, or general disengagement, making early detection challenging, even for medical professionals. If someone is showing these signs persistently, professional evaluation is essential to rule out schizophrenia or other mental health conditions such as autism. If you notice these signs, it’s important to approach the situation with care and concern. Documenting specific behaviors and changes can be useful when seeking professional help.

Because easy to administer, non-invasive, verbal interviews and evaluations rarely follow the accepted Prodromal Questionnaire, and due to an overall lack of knowledge of available treatment, we hear from parents years after the first negative symptoms were noticed and long after the passing of the early and treatable prodromal phase of schizophrenia. SHANNA - WE NEED HERE SOMETHING LIKE - IT IS STILL NOT TOO LATE TO GET TREATMENT - CALL US RIGHT AWAY]

Well-meaning parents and caregivers do not detect the schizophrenia before a first break because they fail to recognize early warning signs.If you notice these negative symptoms, you should seek early assessment by one or even two specialists in order to determine if your child is at high-risk or in the prodromal stage of schizophrenia.

Expect positive symptoms to get worse with time

After the inital negative symptoms (social, emotional, cognitive and behavioral changes), additional positive symptoms may develop and be expressed. These are typically recognized by all and, if not treated, lead to one or many hospitalizations.

U nlike negative symptoms (which involve a loss of normal function), positive symptoms are additions or distortions of normal experiences. These symptoms often involve a break from reality and are the most recognizable features of schizophrenia.

1. Hallucinations (False sensory perceptions)

• Most commonly auditory (hearing voices), but can also be visual, tactile, olfactory, or gustatory .
• Voices may be commanding, critical, or commenting on the person's actions.
• Example: A person hears voices telling them they are being watched.

2. Delusions (False beliefs despite evidence to the contrary)

• Persecutory delusions : Belief that someone is out to harm them (e.g., "The government is spying on me").
• Grandiose delusions : Belief in having special powers or importance (e.g., "I am a prophet sent to save the world").
• Referential delusions : Thinking unrelated events contain hidden messages about them (e.g., "The news anchor is talking directly to me").

3. Disorganized Thinking & Speech

• Trouble organizing thoughts, leading to disorganized, illogical, or incoherent speech .
• Loose associations : Jumping from one unrelated topic to another.
• Word salad : Jumbled, nonsensical speech.
• Example : "The moon is my neighbor. We talk through the telephone wires in my teeth."

4. Disorganized or Abnormal Motor Behavior

• Unpredictable agitation (sudden outbursts or strange behaviors).
• Catatonia (unresponsiveness, rigid posture, or bizarre movements).
• Repetitive movements or purposeless actions .
• Example: A person standing frozen in one position for hours or making exaggerated, erratic gestures.

These positive symptoms fluctuate in severity and may appear alongside negative symptoms . Many times there is a "honeymoon" period, meaning after the first breakthrough of these positive symptoms,  your child will seem to get better matters to have resolved themselves. This almost never the reality. After this honeymoon period when all seems to have resolved, hallucinations and delusions return months or even 1-2 years later. But this time they are more numerous in number, more entrenched, and harder to treat. Early detection and treatment leads to better outcomes, lower medication levels throughout one's life and fewer breakthroughs. It is crucial to seek expert specialty treatment as soon as possible to promote better outcomes and lower medication dosages.

If your child knows there’s a problem but won’t leave their room

For some people, acknowledging there’s an issue doesn’t mean they’re ready to do something about it. You might hear things like:

• “I can’t handle being around people.”
• “I know I need help, but I just can’t go anywhere.”
• “Groups sound terrifying. No way.”

When this happens, parents often get caught in a cycle: they push, the child resists, everyone gets exhausted, and eventually, parents give in. It’s understandable, no one wants constant battles at home.

Here's how to approach this conversation instead:

• Don’t talk about the whole program.

• “You don’t have to commit to anything, but would you be willing to have a quick call with someone who understands what you're going through? No pressure, just a conversation.”

• Give them a sense of control. Anxiety makes everything feel overwhelming. Instead of saying, "You need to go to treatment," try:

• “Let’s just start with a phone call. No one is making you do anything, but I think it would help to talk to someone who really gets this.”
• Learn by listening to your child.
• Empathize with the fear and frustration of your child.
• Agree
• Partner do a chatgpt on LEAP technique - it is the foundation of what we teach parents. this is a very short bit: https://namiga.org/resources/about-mental-illness/leap-assist-someone-accept-help/#:~:text=The%20four%20components%20of%20LEAP,%2C%20empathize%2C%20agree%20and%20partnership. Remember, this is scary for the family, but scariest for the person experienceing these social, emotional and cognitive changes. If you child does not want to get help, set some steps to meet your ulimate goal of treatment, such as an early assessment phone call with a member of the clinical team at Pand Health or a local university hospital. With each step remember to listen, empathize, agree and partner with you child to move to the next.

• “Let’s just start with a phone call. No one is making you do anything, but I think it would help to talk to someone who really gets this.”

If your child thinks everyone else is the problem

What if your child doesn’t believe anything is wrong at all, you might hear:

• “I’m fine. You guys are the ones freaking out.”
• “I don’t need help. You just don’t understand me.”
• “Doctors and therapists are a scam.”

This is where a lot of parents feel powerless. If they don’t think there’s a problem, how do you convince them to get help?

What to Say

1. Don’t try to convince them they’re sick. This will only make them defensive. Instead of: ❌ “You have schizophrenia, and you need treatment.” Try: ✅ “I can see that you’re frustrated, and I don’t want to argue. But I’ve noticed things seem really hard for you lately. Would you be open to talking to someone who works with people in situations like this?”

Don’t try to convince them they’re sick. This will only make them defensive. Instead of:

• ❌ “You have schizophrenia, and you need treatment.” Try:
• ✅ “I can see that you’re frustrated, and I don’t want to argue. But I’ve noticed things seem really hard for you lately. Would you be open to talking to someone who works with people in situations like this?”

• Frame it as a way to make life easier, not as “fixing” them.

1. “I know you’re not interested in therapy, but there are people who can help make things less stressful for you. Would you be open to just talking with someone?”

• “I know you’re not interested in therapy, but there are people who can help make things less stressful for you. Would you be open to just talking with someone?”

• Let someone else be the expert. Sometimes, kids won’t listen to their parents, but they might be open to a conversation with a professional, especially if it’s not framed as "treatment."

• “I found someone who has worked with a lot of people in situations like yours. They’re not here to ‘fix’ you, just to hear your perspective. Would you be willing to have a quick call?”

This way, they’re not committing to treatment, just a conversation. That small shift can make a huge difference.

What you can do right now

If your child won’t take the first step, that doesn’t mean you can’t. Here are a few things you can do today:

✅ Schedule a consultation call – Even if your child refuses, you can speak with a professional at Pand Health to learn how to navigate this situation.

✅ Join a support group – Connecting with other families going through the same thing can help you feel less alone and give you practical advice.

✅ Educate yourself – Understanding how psychosis and schizophrenia work will help you respond with more patience and confidence.

✅ Keep the conversation open – Even if your child says no today, that doesn’t mean they will tomorrow. The way you talk to them now lays the foundation for future discussions.

Moving forward, one step at a time

This process is tough, and there’s no perfect script for how to convince your child to get help. But there are ways to open the door, gently, patiently, and without turning it into a battle.

Even if your child is resistant now, things can change. And when they do, you’ll be ready with the right support in place.

Would talking to someone help you figure out the next steps? Let’s start there.